We dominate others and abandon them before they can abandon us or we avoid relationships with dependent people altogether.We frighten people with our anger and threat of belittling criticism.To avoid becoming enmeshed and entangled with other people and losing ourselves in the process, we become rigidly self-sufficient.To cover our fear of people and our dread of isolation we tragically become the very authority figures who frighten others and cause them to withdraw.To access The Flip Side of The Laundry List in different languages click here. To download a printable PDF of The Flip Side of The Laundry List click here. The characteristics of alcoholism and para-alcoholism we have internalized are identified, acknowledged, and removed.We have interdependent relationships with healthy people, not dependent relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable. We grow in independence and are no longer terrified of abandonment.We stop judging and condemning ourselves and discover a sense of self-worth.We come out of denial about our traumatic childhoods and regain the ability to feel and express our emotions.We are able to distinguish love from pity, and do not think “rescuing” people we “pity” is an act of love.We avoid emotional intoxication and choose workable relationships instead of constant upset.We do not feel guilty when we stand up for ourselves.We do not use enabling as a way to avoid looking at our own shortcomings.We stop living life from the standpoint of victims and are not attracted by this trait in our important relationships.
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